The Curious Incident Of The Ex-husband Who Ate The Dog Biscuit

I’ve been reflecting about the end of another summer and the memories of all the different family holidays I’ve had over the years, in particular this one hysterical incident, which I knew I had to share with you.

3 years ago, having finished a walk along the beautiful Cornish coastline, my ex-husband, my daughter and I decided to get a coffee at the local cafe. Whilst ordering at the counter I sensed a kerfuffle between my ex-husband and my daughter (which, though not remotely unusual, was normally very entertaining to witness). 

My daughter, laughing hysterically, doubled over, barely able to make coherent words, starts nudging me, pointing to my ex, who was eating something, whilst looking equal parts indignant as amused, and very smug.

Still waiting for composure from the pair of them for ‘the story’, I had no idea what the big deal was, as it definitely wasn’t an unusual occurrence for him to take advantage of free food (samples at the local bakers, Easter chocolate meant for the kids, the first to open up the crisps at a friend’s party etc - you get the picture), however with my daughter being so incapacitated in hysterics I guessed he’d probably accidentally taken someone else’s leftovers, or had mistakenly stolen something for sale on the counter not meant to be free.

My daughter after a few deep breaths and gasps, finally managing to get a few words out in between the fits of hysterics said, ‘Mum! Dad’s eating a dog biscuit!’ 

‘How? What? Where?’ In complete confusion my mind is trying to piece it together (but not surprised as previously mentioned ‘free food’ is his thing), but dog biscuits!? I thought he’d draw the line at non-human food, but really wasn’t sure.

As if that wasn’t funny or embarrassing enough in itself, he decides to bluff it out and fully commit to his decision and continues to finish chewing the biscuit (even though it clearly tasted disgusting and he was trying, not very convincingly, to pretend it didn’t whilst saying, ‘There’s nothing wrong with it’)!

I’m still not sure at this point if his actions are deliberate or a mistake as his commitment to eating the biscuit is fully apparent.

‘How was I to know it was meant for dogs anyway?’ Suddenly feeling the need to defend his position and realising he’s taken some poor dog’s treat.  

My daughter through fits of laughter replies ‘Ooh I don’t know… maybe the sign in front of the jar where it says ‘Help Yourself’ with the drawing of the dog paw, and that the biscuits are in the shape of a bone?’ 

I am sure a lot of you can relate to following through on something that seemed like an exciting idea at the outset (Yum free biscuits!!) but when it starts to go pear shaped, not knowing how to handle it. 

It’s admirable to want to see things through despite challenges, but there’s also knowing when to bail on a really bad idea and not continue to its bitter, chewy end no matter what.

If this feels familiar, and you'd like clarity on knowing when ‘finishing the dog biscuit’ is not a good idea, because you have a habit of seeing things through no matter what (whether that’s a relationship, a job, or a social event), or are fearful of coming across as stupid and/or are in the habit of feeling shamed or defensive that has you doing things that in a calm state of mind you just wouldn’t.