I Wish I Hadn’t Worked So Hard

"I wish I hadn't worked so hard," was one of the biggest regrets written about in the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Every hour, day, week, year there is an opportunity to make a conscious choice of how we spend our time.

It's all too easy to lose sight of living intentionally. We can get caught up and lose our way. It's vitally important to regularly create space in your life to evaluate what really matters to you.

The research that was the basis for the book found people regretting the choices they made around not spending more time on what they really valued: the most common regret was lost time that could have been spent with loved ones and instead working too hard. So what does that look like?

I can't take a holiday I'm too busy with work

Taking calls, dealings with communication associated with work in out of hours work time; evenings, weekends, holiday

‘Buying back’ or valuing payment for holiday leave not taken above taking the allocated holiday time

Seeing yourself as indispensable in your role at work and not able to take leave or working crazy long hours and weekends

Do you seek validation and sense of self through your work? (Especially common in ‘helping’ professions - I'm looking at you therapists, health practitioners, coaches, social workers, nurses, doctors.)

What is driving the amount of work you do? Does it feel like an ever moving goal? (e.g. increased income or more validation and feeling like you never quite get there.)

Do you see your worth tied up in your work? (So often where parents unconsciously focused on their children's value in their academic achievement, sporting performance, or the way they looked or some other trait that isn't just about who they are.)

So frequently people chase more income without really evaluating how they're going about it - because it's never sustainable to be constantly looking at the next promotion, salary increase, a potential bonus or what extra hours you can do (as that's a shortcut to burnout and discontentment). 

When you'll find it so much easier to create a life aligned with what suits you best (and can make you happiest) by slowing down and making space to reflect on what you really value, giving you a chance to spot new opportunities that are more aligned with how you really want to live.

At any given moment you can start over new, regardless of what has gone before. You're never too old to start a new chapter. You're too old to keep doing what isn't working.